To read #5 through #3 click here.

#2 Failure
It sounds a little weird, I know, but God is desperately trying to teach me how to fail. That is the only explanation I have for the fact that I seem to do it a lot. (And I mean a lot) I am convinced that God would rather use people who have learned to fail and fail on a grand scale then those that are only successful. I know that it is not His desire to see us fail, but I also know that He seems to teach me more through my failures then my success many times.

As the famous quote goes:

“Show me a man who has never failed,
I’ll show you a man who has never tried.”

I have never thought of my self as a great person, but I have never thought of myself as a failure either. That is what God is teaching me. I am. A big one at that. If I start to think of myself as anything other than that, then what need do I have for the power of Christ in my life.

I look back at the “heroes” of the Bible and think, “Wow, God had his pick of the whole world and chose these guys?” I mean go back through and look at the people He uses to affect His will throughout the Bible. Liars, prostitutes, cheaters, drunks, adulterers, murderers, cowards, and I could go on and on. The point is I am no better then these people. I just have to come to grips with that and admit it in order for Him to use me.

I AM A FAILURE!

Are you?

#5 Compassion
Yes I hate to say it but I can be an un-compassionate person every now and then, ok, ok, quite frequently. I do not always have the kind and caring thoughts when I come across situations or people. In fact sometimes my thoughts are down right mean. But that is not what God wants for me or my thought life.

#4 Patience
I have 6 kids, patience is something I need…. desperately. Unfortunately for my family it is something I struggle with. God is working on me though. I know one of these days he will perfect His patience in me. It is just simply a matter of how much I fight to hold on to my selfishness and anger. I am learning to give that junk up for His patience and peace.

#3 Purity
Well I am a man (surprise, surprise), so purity is a struggle for me. It has been a struggle in my life since I was young. I finally learned a few years ago that I can’t become pure. I can only rely on Jesus blood to purify me and keep me pure. It is a daily battle between my flesh and God’s will. Most days God’s will wins out, but every now and then my flesh sucker punches me when I am not looking. I am learning to deal with those days and instead of trying to recover from the punch and fight my flesh, I am learning to turn tail and run the other way, right into Jesus’ loving and forgiving arms.

#2 and #1 in the next few days.

Life is a constant state of learing. What is God wanting you to learn.

I am currently reading the book “God’s Equation: Einstein, Relativity, and the Expanding Universe” by Amir D. Aczel, and wow is it some intense stuff. I am by no means a math expert so I am at a slight disadvantage when it goes into a lot of the heavier stuff(Non-Euclidean geometry, Quantum physics, and other stuff), but I am smart and know enough to get the gist of what is being discussed, and I must say, WOW!

My brain has been stretched reading this book then it ever has before. Just trying to wrap your brain around such problems as the size of the universe, “What’s beyond the universe?”, “Will the universe stop expanding?”, “Is Time travel possible?”, and many more thoughts and questions will make your brain stretch beyond normal thought.

All of this has just gone to show me how incredible God made the universe. 500 years ago we still thought the world was flat. 500 years before that we thought that we were the center of the universe, and 500 years before that we didn’t really have any clue as to what was beyond our view. God has created an incredibly detailed and mysterious place for us to live in.

Einstein said it best “Subtle is the Lord God, but malicious He is not.” We live in a world where we assume that our current science is the end-all-be-all and that what we hold to be truth now will still be true in the future. God has created and extremely detailed and intricate world for us to live in. I look forward to the day when I can be with Him and see this creation as he does, from the outside looking in. To see the universe as what it is small, finite, and minuscule compared with Him. It is hard to imagine now, but one day soon I will be able too.

So lately God has been putting the future on my heart. My family and I are coming to the end of a chapter in our lives and are preparing to move forward to the next one. As with any new beginning there is a certain amount of planning, anxious waiting, and yes…worry.

I know I shouldn’t worry. I know God is in control and I feel that He has given me clear direction on the future, but I still spend time worrying about it. Am I doing the right thing? Should I do this? What if this doesn’t work out? What are my back up plans?

Some of these things are just good planning. I firmly believe that God will take me in the direction He has shown me. But i also believe that he may show me a different path as I move forward, much like He gave Abram a goat to sacrifice instead of Issac. So I am also preparing for other options. I guess the hard thing is just realizing the difference between Planning and Worrying.

I wish I had a good answer as to which is which. I don’t. I am just a finite human, but I do believe that in the end I will be taken care of by a loving and INfinite God. So untill God moves the mountains I am facing I am content to just keep climbing, while also keeping an eye open for other paths that He may open up. I’ll keep planning, and I’ll try and let Him take care of my worrying.

Yesterday was my little girls 1st birthday. It seems like just a few days ago I was in the hospital with her mom watching her be born. And it seems like not to long ago I was watching my other kids be born. Life is just so stinkin’ fast.

Makes me realize that every day that God has blessed us with is precious and should be treated as such. i need to take every opportunity to tell my daughters how beautiful they are and how much they are loved because if I don’t one day very soon some young man will be saying that to them and his intentions won’t be the same as mine.

I need to spend as much time as I can teaching my boys how to walk as men of God because if i don’t they will learn how to be men from some other place and won’t learn the values that I want them too.

I need to spend as much time cherishing my wife, building her up, and encouraging her growth spiritually for her benefit, but more importantly for my children’s. They need to see what a godly marriage looks like. My boys need to learn how to treat their future wives. My daughters need to know what a man of God looks like so they can make a good decision about their future husbands

Life just moves too fast. I often kid with my wife that I hate weddings because I am dreading walking my girls down the aisle. And you know what I am. I worry about weather or not I will have done a good enough job teaching and loving them in the time I had with them. I worry about weather they will be marrying a man of God, or a woman of God for my boys.

Life just moves too fast. Dang! Pray for me as I try to be the man, husband, and father God has called me to be.

Life just moves so freaking fast. Embrace your daughters, love your wives, and mentor your sons, cause LIFE MOVES FAST.

I recently watched the film “Into The Wild”, which if you haven’t seen it was a very interesting story. I love the wild and the thought of living of the land and enjoying the natural beauty of it. Anyway there was a part in the movie where Alex the main character is at the Colorado River and decides that he wants to kayak down it. He goes into the local rangers office and the dialogue is something like this:
(this takes place in 1991)

Alex:”Excuse me I was wondering if you could tell me a good place to launch from so I can paddle down the river”

Ranger:”Do you have any experience?”

A:”No, I just want to paddle down the river. Do I need experience to do that?”

R:”Do you have a permit?”

A:”I need a permit to paddle down a river?”

R:”Yes, If you like you can get on the waiting list for a permit.”

A:”How long is the list?”

R:”Well, lets see…. The next available spot is May 12th…2003.”

A:”12 years, I Have to wait 12 years to paddle down a river?”

At this point Alex leaves goes and buys a Kayak and starts paddling down the river. I assume that he is starting from somewhere around the Colorado/Arizona border, and he ends up paddling all the way down through the Grand Canyon, Lake Mead, Lake Mojave, Lake Havasu, the US/Mexico border and into the Gulf of California.

Alex embarks on this epic journey, all because he wasn’t content with the answers given to him by the establishment. He decides that even though he is being told by those around him that he can’t do something, because it will take too long and he does have the experience, or the right equipment or whatever else, he is going to do it anyway because he feels called to it.

What is it that you are being called to? What is the river in your life that God has told you to paddle down? Who are those that are telling you that you can’t do it for whatever reason; you’re too young, not experienced enough, it will take too long to accomplish, it’s never been done before. What is that river in your life?

God is bigger then all off the excuse people can give you. Don’t wait anymore, if God has called you to paddle down a river, then go buy your kayak and get in the water. You will never be able to experience the beauty and majesty of God’s plan for you if you don’t get in the water.